All quoted scriptures in New International Version. This content may contain affiliate links.
Overcoming the darkness
Though chosen by God to serve His purpose, many Bible characters faced moments of profound despair, at times preferring death to their problems. Here, we explore eight stories of God’s servants who wanted to die and what actually happened.
1. Elijah prays to die
After triumphing over the prophets of Baal, Elijah fled from queen Jezebel’s wrath. In his despair, the prophet journeyed into the wilderness where he sat under a broom bush and prayed for death to come.
“I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 1 Kings 19:4
Recognizing Elijah’s physical and mental exhaustion, God sent an angel to feed and strengthen the prophet. After refueling, Elijah traveled for 40 days and 40 nights to Mount Horeb. There, God announced Elisha would become successor prophet.
After anointing and mentoring Elisha, Elijah ascended to heaven in a chariot of fire, one of the most remarkable exits from Earth ever recorded in biblical history.
2. Jonah hides from God
Some may think the prophet Jonah did not want to serve God when he tried to run away. But as the Bible story reveals, the prophet who spent three days in the belly of a whale was afraid of delivering God’s mercy to the evil people of Ninevah.
After announcing impending destruction to the backslidden city, Jonah was filled with bitterness and anger when the people of Ninevah repented and God spared their lives. Jonah was so distraught by God’s decision to have mercy that he pleaded for death.
“Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” Jonah 4:3
In the final verses of the short Bible book, Jonah maintained his anger, though God reminded the prophet of His absolute just judgment and the righteousness of His divine mercy.
3. Job tempted to curse God
Though Job’s wife told him to “curse God and die” (Job 2:9), the righteous man refused. However, stricken by calamity, loss, and disease, Job cursed the day he was born, saying:
“May the day of my birth perish, and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’ Job 3:3
Through his unwavering faith and talking with God, Job’s life was eventually completely restored, receiving double what he had lost, along with profound insights into God’s justice.
4. Moses asks God to kill him
Overwhelmed by the burden of leading the Israelites and their incessant complaining, Moses asked God to end his life.
“If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin.” Numbers 11:15
Instead, God appointed 70 elders to share the leadership responsibilities, easing Moses’s burden and providing him strength to continue his mission.
5. Jeremiah curses the day of his birth
Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, faced intense persecution and suffering for his prophecies. In his despair, he cursed the day he was born, wishing he had never been conceived.
“Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!” Jeremiah 20:14
Through his lamentations, Jeremiah remained committed to his calling, finding solace in the promises and plans God had for His people.
6. Samson prays to die with his enemies
Samson, betrayed by Delilah and blinded by his enemies, prayed to God for the strength to end his life along with the Philistines.
Samson prays to God, saying, “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.” (Judges 16:28)
Even though he lost his strength after his hair was cut, Samson regains power long enough to push on the pillars of the Philistine temple. The temple came crashing down on the Philistines and himself, killing more of his enemies in his dying moment than all the while he lived serving God.
7) Judas Iscariot hangs himself
Judas Iscariot, one of the original twelve disciples, is infamously known for betraying Jesus Christ for t30 pieces of silver. This act of betrayal weighed heavily upon him, leading to immense guilt and remorse.
According to the Gospel of Matthew, Judas tried to return the silver to the chief priests and elders.
“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” Matthew 27:4
However, they dismissed him.
“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
In his anguish, Judas threw the silver into the temple and went away. Overwhelmed by his actions and unable to cope with the guilt, Judas ended his life by hanging himself.
8) Paul describes despairing ‘life itself’
Paul’s journey was marked by intense persecution, physical suffering, and deep emotional struggle.
The Apostle’s anguish is poignantly expressed in his second letter to the Corinthians.
“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.” 2 Corinthians 1:8
Yet, in this moment of profound despair, Paul found a greater purpose and reliance on God’s power. He ultimately became responsible for writing most of the New Testament.